(no subject)

[thedemonmagnet]

Helen had been topside from the horrible place for a few days and Xander's heart had finally stopped racing whenever she was out of his sight. Granted, he wasn't too happy that she was out at the Club drinking with Luthor, why was it always Luthor, but at least she knew she was safe. And while he didn't get the drinking, he knew this was something they needed to do.

But it did give him the chance to work on a few personal projects that he'd neglected in his worry and then in his reunion with Helen. So there he sat on the porch, forming a piece of wood in his hand with one of his woodworking tools, waiting for her to come home to him.

Comments

[alcuin]

Xander had told Alcuin that he could come to him if he was feeling lonely. It was such a straightforward and sincere offer that he found his thoughts straying to it that afternoon as he strummed idly at Rupert's guitar. The night before he'd had terrible insomnia, tossing and turning in the large, empty bed.

He wasn't entirely sure what he would say, or if Xander truly did want his company without real purpose behind it, but he found himself going to his hut anyway. When he approached he saw Xander on the porch, and held up a hand in greeting.

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

Xander had meant it. He hated the thought of any friend of his feeling lonely and it was only natural to offer to help. It was such a simple thing after all.

When he glanced up and saw Alcuin approaching, he grinned and held up his own hand in reply. "Hey Alcuin!" The wood and tools were easily set aside before he stood to come greet him. "What brings you out here?"

[alcuin]

Alcuin climbed Xander's steps to join him, a little smile on his lips. "I... came to see you," he admitted, perhaps a bit sheepish. "I hope that's okay. I also wanted to ask you if Helen is okay."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"It's more then okay." Xander said before waving to the other chair next to him so Alcuin could have a seat. "I'm glad you're here. And she's doing good." He couldn't stop the large smile that blossomed on his face. "She and Lex Luthor are currently at the Club, drinking to the sunshine, or so I'm told."

[alcuin]

Alcuin sat in the chair and looked over at Xander, smiling warmly at him. He felt better already, just being here.

At the comment about Helen, he laughed. "Well. I hope that it works out better for her than the last time I drank."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"And people wonder why I don't drink." Re-taking his chair, Xander gave Alcuin a concerned look. "Is this about the guy who rejected you?"

[alcuin]

"Now? No." Alcuin offered him a sheepish little smile. "No, it's just my general melancholy. The drinking, though..." He managed a self deprecating, soft laugh. "Well, I can blame Jack Harkness for that, he thought it might be a good way to help me forget my troubles."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"I've heard it's good for that." Xander said with a wary smile, clear that he wasn't condemning Alcuin for drinking away his troubles. "I have family history that says otherwise and I'd rather not risk it." He added as his smile turned self deprecating. "Anything I can do?"

[alcuin]

"Just the company is enough," Alcuin admitted. He laughed again and added, "It would be nice to have, perhaps, someone warming my bed for a time, though I certainly won't ask that of you. Your friendship is enough."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

Xander couldn't help a bashful smile at that. "Perhaps a few months ago maybe. I...wouldn't have said no." He'd never really though about it...but his gut reaction at the moment was that he would said yes. Not now of course, since he loved Helen more then he could express and Alcuin knew that.

[alcuin]

Alcuin ducked his head a bit, though a smile pulled at his lips. "I cannot say it does not please me to hear that - " Neither would he have said no. He was fond of Xander, and he did not think that Giles would disapprove, even if it might make him raise a brow. "But I am more than happy for the love you have found."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"Me too. Er, pleased to hear that I mean."

Neither did Xander. In fact, he thought Giles would be glad Xander and Alcuin were there for each other, in bed or not. "And thanks. It's been...amazing." He was speechless when it came to describing Helen...and that in itself said a lot from him.

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

Alcuin's Nightmare (http://will-you-see.livejournal.com/12312.html)

[devilwoman]

When Saffron woke up the next morning, the first thing she noticed was it felt like someone was taking a jackhammer to her skull. The next thing she noticed was that she and Xander were alone in their bed.

For a few moments, she kept still, her eyes closed, as she tried to remember what all had happened last night. It took a minute, but it came back to her, somewhat hazy, but intact. They'd had quite a night, that was for damn sure. Slowly, Saffron pushed herself up on one elbow, managing to open her eyes into a squint as she scanned the room. She didn't see Alcuin, and it didn't sound like anyone else was in the hut, so she lay back down with a wince, figuring he was no longer there. She had no idea when he'd left, but Saffron had a feeling with the way she'd passed out they could've brought a gorram brass band through the hut and she wouldn't have so much as stirred. She'd go and find him later, make sure he was all right, but right then she didn't want to move much at all.

Rolling carefully onto her side, Saffron just watched Xander for a moment, studying his face, peaceful in sleep. She wondered, when he woke, what he was going to say about what they'd done, and for a moment, she experienced a fear so strong it was almost paralyzing. Saffron didn't regret what happened last night, not at all, but suddenly she was terrified that she was about to discover Xander was willing - or worse, eager - to do it again. She wasn't sure whether it was worse that she knew she'd agree to it if that was what he wanted, even though the thought tore her apart.

Biting her lip against the hammering in her head, Saffron slid up against Xander, curling up against him as tightly as she could, her legs tangling with his, and as she burrowed her face into his neck, her breath hitched in a quiet sob.

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

Xander groaned softly as he woke up once again for reasons other then just waking up. Something needed his attention and he needed to wake up for it.

What he didn't expect was the sobbing woman curled around him. After talking Alcuin through his nightmare last night, Xander couldn't even guess what had Helen so upset. So he started out by just wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head as he woke up some more.

When he finally was more awake, he started whispering softly until she would look up at him. Xander smiled, all the love he had for her plain on his face. "Hey. What's wrong?"

[devilwoman]

Her eyes were dry as she tilted her head to look up at Xander, but it had been a close thing, between how she was feeling and the way her half-awake revelation had shaken her. "Hangover," she mumured as explanation, managing a faint smile. "It feels like someone's using my head as a gong. When did Alcuin leave?"

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Middle of the night. He woke up and figured then was as good a time as any." The nightmare he decided to keep between him and Alcuin to respect his privacy. "Can I get you anything?"

[devilwoman]

"No," Saffron replied softly, refraining from shaking her head since that was like to get the gong really going. "Just stay right where you are." The last thing she wanted right then, the very last thing, was for Xander to move so much as an inch away from her. She wanted to ask him, she was itching to ask him, if only to put her out of her own misery, but for once, the words were escaping her.

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"I think I can manage that." Xander said fondly as he wrapped her up tighter in his arms. There was no where else he'd rather be after all though the sobs he could have sworn he'd felt still weighed on his mind. But he figured he could give her a moment and ask again later.

[devilwoman]

She stayed silent for a few moments, snuggled up close with Xander, her eyes shut as she savored that moment where she was safe and sound in the arms of the man she loved with all her heart. Even the headache that was strong as ever didn't detract from how good it was to be right where she was, and she tucked herself back in where she'd been, nuzzling his neck.

When she finally spoke, it was in a small voice, and she didn't move, afraid of what she might read in his expression. "What did you think of last night?"

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"It was interesting." Xander said simply. It had been an interesting experience, since he'd never been in a threesome before. And while he was glad to offer the comfort to Alcuin...he definitely thought three was a crowd.

Of course, if Helen asked, he'd do it again.

"I think it help Alcuin, like we wanted."

[devilwoman]

Interesting. It was a neutral enough response, enough that Saffron didn't know what to make of it, especially given she still refused to look up at his face. "I'm glad we helped Alcuin," she agreed. That was one thing she was sure about. It was the thing she did best, helping them that needed it through sex, through physical intimacy. She'd done it for Xander once upon a time, and she didn't regret it; she didn't regret helping Alcuin, either. That was not the issue in question, for Saffron.

"Would you want to do it again? A threesome, I mean?" she asked, in that same small voice. "And don't say you would if I wanted to. I want to know what you want."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

Xander of course had to swallow back his first answer since she'd taken the words right out of his mouth. He was quiet for a moment as he tried to find the right words...before he finally sighed and pulled her closer.

"No. Not really. I would do it again if you wanted but I really think I prefer it just as me and you." He kissed her hair in a brief pause. "Call me selfish maybe, but I love you and I want to keep that to myself. Alcuin is a dear friend so it wasn't hard sharing it for a night but...I'd rather not."

Because it never was just sex for Xander. It never had been, except that first time with Faith.

[devilwoman]

The relief that flooded her was so profound she couldn't have stopped the tears if she'd tried, even though crying didn't do her aching head any favors. "Those," she said a bit shakily, as she finally pulled her face back from his neck just far enough to look up at him, "were my thoughts exactly. I don't - I don't want to share you anymore."

[scoobys-heart.livejournal.com]

"Oh Helen..." His voice broke as he first felt the tears against his neck and then saw them when she pulled back. "You have never had to share me. Not where it matters." He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead so he didn't have to pull far away.