thedemonmagnet | For Saffron

"I..." So, Xander really hated to admit it, but she had a point. Despite the fact he was feeling pretty damned trapped and off guard at the moment. And well...he knew he had to get it over it someday, but it was also easy to hide behind. He didn't have to make a decision if he could hide behind his fear. But then isn't that what he always did, hide behind his fear?

That thought alone made him say a quick, "Okay," before he even realized he was speaking, to his own surprise. He just blinked at Helen for a moment, gaping slightly. "I mean...are you sure? That you can help?"

She had fully expected more protests, more excuses, so when Xander instead just said 'okay', Saffron's eyes widened slightly in surprise, any convincing arguments she had ready dying on her lips before she could speak them.

The surprise was gone as quickly as it arrived, replaced by a fond smile. "I'm sure," she promised, and nodded. "We'll go back to my place, and we'll have all the privacy we need there. We can take it as slow as you want."

Xander wasn't back at her place yet and he was still poised to make a run for it so that okay was tentative at best. But...a part of him really wanted to believe her. To have something he didn't have to be afraid of.

He swallowed and nodded slowly. "Okay. I think. I mean I don't think...I mean I don't know what I mean but we better go before I think myself out of this and I can guarantee I'm almost there." Honestly was the best policy right?

Saffron had a surge of fondness for him at that, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Let's go, then," she said, standing and tugging on his hand to get him to go with her.

She threaded her fingers through his as they walked to her place, and kept him occupied with idle chit chat in an effort to keep him from getting too nervous. She didn't live terrible far from the club, so it wasn't all that long before they were there.

Once they were inside, Saffron slipped off her sandals and went to stand before Xander, wondering idly what it was with her and befriending guys who were a full foot taller than her or close to it. She took his face in her hands, her own tilted back to look up at him. "Listen to me, Xander. I want you to know you can trust me. You're safe here with me. I promise I would never hurt you. Okay?"

It was her hand in his that kept him following her instead of running. The chit chat helped but he was still visibly tense and the thought of what they were going to do was sticking out like a neon sign in the back of his head.

When the entered her hut, he stayed by the door, his back to a wall, almost personifying how cornered he felt a the moment. When Helen came over, he just looked down at her, eyes wide, unable to hide how terrified he was. "I know...I do...I just..." He swallowed hard. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Because saying okay in the club was different then being faced with a bed.

He was even more scared than she thought he would be, and Saffron wanted to kill the bitch who'd done this to him. She knew, though, that he needed to get past it, and she also knew she could help him do that.

"Try and relax," Saffron told him in a gentle, soothing voice as she took his hands, led him to her bed and sat him down. She eased herself into his lap, sitting so she was straddling him. "It's okay. Don't think about anything else, just focus on what's happening right now. And right now there's a really hot girl in your lap who wants you." She smiled softly and leaned in to kiss him once, gently. "You won't hurt me, either."

To calm his racing nerves, Xander did what always did; he laughed nervously. "Don't be so sure about that."

He paused and closed his eyes, concentrating on taking deep breaths as his hands sat on her hips, his thumbs making small circles against her sides. He couldn't lie, he was reacting to Helen sitting so close against him...but it was still frightening.

Edited 2009-04-29 02:48 (UTC)

She rested her hands lightly on his shoulders and kissed him again, deeper this time. From his lips, she kissed a slow trail along his jawline, pausing to nip at his ear before moving to his neck. In the meantime, she slid her hands down his chest to his waist, where she gathered up handfuls of his shirt and lifted slightly in a silent question.

While he responded to the kiss to his lips, once she moved onward, Xander just concentrated on breathing with his eyes closed. He was still tense, but he was trying to calm down, it was just so hard as images of his previous encounters flashed by his minds eye.

At the silent question, Xander opened his eyes slightly to be sure...and then hesitantly he pulled it off himself. It was better he did it then when Faith had just ripped it off.

Saffron had always found Xander's upper body to be very appealing, and had ever since he'd first auditioned for her. Now, she ran her hands over his chest and upper arms appreciatively, leaning in to kiss along the line of his shoulder.

She thrived on aggression, it was true, but Saffron could also be plenty turned on by gentleness and slow enjoyment. She took up the hem of her sundress and pulled it smoothly over her head, tossing it aside to leave her in a pale pink bra and panties.

Xander couldn't help shivering slightly as her light touches to his shoulders and chest. He licked his lips as he fought to just take deep breaths and relax, his eyes falling closed again.

He greatly appreciated the going slow. Aggressive and rough was what had scared him in the first place after all. When he felt her dress come off, he was almost surprised to have bare skin under his hands. It caused him to open his eyes as he just slowly felt the soft skin of her stomach and back, since he hadn't really had the luxury with Faith.

She let out a soft hum of pleasure at the feel of his hands on her bare skin. She scooted in just a little closer to him, tilting her hips for just a little bit of teasing friction. "I love your arms," she said softly, between kisses to his lips, jaw and neck. "Have I ever told you that? You have really great arms."

The tilting of her hips caused her to rub against his jeans just so and Xander gave a small happy hiss between his teeth. That felt good.

Still just feeling her skin, he returned some of the kisses as he did begin to honestly relax. "My arms? Really?" He glanced down at them and then shrugged. "They're, uh, long?" They had the one distinguishing feature, the cross tattooed on his left arm, another souvenir from his summer in Oxnard.

"They're strong, and muscular," Saffron explained with a smile, running her hands up and down his biceps. "I'd love to have them wrapped around me." She leaned in to kiss him again, sliding her hands up his arms to the nape of his neck and into his hair.

As if on cue, Xander's arms did just that, wrapping securely around her waist and pulling her forward into the kiss. This...was very good and he was enjoying it. Of course his jeans were still on, which helped, but right now, he was good.

Saffron kissed Xander a good long time, increasing the intensity in measured degrees, easing him into it. She let her hands roam as they might, silently encouraging him to do the same with her, and enjoying every moment.

Easing was good. Faith had just taken and he had to admit, he liked Helen's method better. She was good at this.

He slowly got the hint, but was still timid to do more then hold her at the moment. The kissing was working well for him and he let himself enjoy the moment.

Then Xander took a deep breath and traced his fingers slowly down her back, feeling out the bumps of her spine. Simple and slow, to gain his confidence and to make sure he wasn't going to hurt her in the process.

Edited 2009-05-04 02:47 (UTC)

He was being so careful with her, so sweet, and given the circumstances behind his actions it endeared him to her even more. She wanted, though, to show him that he could be bold. She was patient enough to take the time to do it right, without scaring him off in the process.

She traced his lower lip with her finger before kissing him again, softly. "It's okay, honey," she assured him softly. "I won't break. I'm a lot less fragile than I look." She left it at that, though, didn't guide his hands into a more aggressive touch as she might have done with someone else. She just kissed him again, giving another gentle tilt of her hips.

Xander bit his lip at her encouragement, just taking a moment to think past his mental block. Helen wasn't Faith. He was fairly sure that she wasn't going to kill him. She kept insisting he wouldn't hurt her. She was the expert, so she had to be right about this stuff, right?

The tilt of her hips caused him make another small noise in the back of his throat and after taking a deep breath, he began to, carefully, let his hands move about her body, one coming up to rubs her shoulders, while the other went down towards her stomach and butt, just touching. Small steps.

Saffron let out a quiet hum of approval as Xander's hands moved. She sat snuggled against him, letting him feel his way, and did a little exploration of her own with her lips and hands to all of him she could reach.

After a little while she slid off his lap with a smile, crawled up the bed and laid back. "C'mere," she said softly, beckoning him with the crook of one finger.

This touching thing really wasn't so bad, as his movements did get slightly bolder. Though he didn't venture into any hot spots. Not yet. Back, sides, stomach, shoulders...those were good for a start.

Of course when she moved up on the bed, this was different. Last time, he'd been thrown down on the bed and that had been really been it. So as he crawled up to join Helen, it was clear he wasn't sure what he was doing.

When Xander reached her Saffron pulled him gently down to her, positioning herself so she was halfway beneath him. "Relax," she told him in a soothing voice, brushing a hand through his hair. "We're not in any hurry. This is for your enjoyment, so...enjoy. Don't be afraid to try anything you want. I'm here to help you, and to make this amazing for you."

Xander closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as he slightly leaned into the touch to his hair. Relax. He could do that. Helen was safe, this was all good...

"I hate to sound totally pathetic, but anything with me not dying will be pretty amazing." He tried to make it sound like a joke, despite being completely serious. When he opened his eyes, he looked down at Helen, and for the moment, just smile gratefully as he considered what to do next with the permission he'd been given.

"I promise, there won't be any dying going on," Saffron replied, returning Xander's smile. She planned to raise that particular standard of his considerably by the time they were through. "Only pleasure." She slid her hand down his side until she reached the waistband of his jeans, where she slipped a couple of fingers beneath.

Licking his lips, Xander fought not to gasp as her fingers slipped under his waistband. Despite his night time occupation, he was hesitant to take his clothes off in this instance, but despite his hesitation, he brought a hand down to undo his fly and let his jeans slide down his hips.

"Pleasure is good." His voice was soft and breathless as he looked down at her, almost asking permission to work on her remaining clothes as well. Might as well get the obvious obstacle over with.

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