thedemonmagnet | (no subject)

Something was different this morning. Xander could feel it the moment he woke up. But he couldn't figure out what it was till after he was up, dressed and moving about the hut. As per normal, he'd called good morning to Buffy, just in case she was in. Sometimes she was out on patrol before he woke up, sometimes she slept in. He wished he could sleep in but he had to meet his building crew team.

Before leaving, he ran a hand through his still green hair and stuck his head into Buffy's room to say good bye before he left. And he stopped short. He just...stared into the room. It wasn't that Buffy wasn't there, it was like, a complete absence of her presence. He finally recognized the feeling he'd been feeling all morning. He felt empty.

Not one to give up so easy, Xander began searching places on the island. He went up the Compound and asked everyone there if they'd seen her. He checked the IPD office, the kitchen, the rec room, everywhere he could think of. The whole time, he kept thinking about his promise to her, soon after his own arrival. How he wouldn't disappear on her, like everyone else, including himself, had. He hadn't disappeared, like he promised. He was still here.

But the more he looked, he realized...that it was Buffy who had disappeared.

After what felt like hours, but was still the middle of the morning, Xander found himself just blindly walking down one of the paths towards the caves. His arms were hugged around him and he wasn't ashamed to admit he was crying. His best friend was gone. The one person he couldn't live without. And he was completely devastated.

Finally, he looked up to see where his feet has led him. Spike's cave. A part of him wasn't surprised. Of anyone on the island, Spike would understand. Taking a deep breath and wiping his eyes, Xander took a tentative step into the cave as he called out "Spike?" in a shaking voice.