Dated to December 8th
Jan. 7th, 2009 01:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thedemonmagnetIt's been months since Xander and Clark have spoken and Xander happens upon his roommate making a snowman. The silence finally breaks as they both apologize and give a another go at being friends.
Clark was attempting to do a snow man. He was bored. He was tired. He was bored of reading. And he was tired of quietly living in a house trying to avoid someone who was his friend because he didn't want to complicate his life further. Something he realized wasn't working, but didn't know how to fix. Standing in the snow, bundled up, packing a big ball of snow on the ground and smoothing out some of it so that he could lay a second ball (which he'd need to make) on top of it. He sighed. Thought of Xander. Frowned and shook his head. "What are you doing," he asked himself aloud.
Xander was just wandering today. With the snow, the building crew was pretty much at a stand still and considering his hand was still healing, it ached in the cold. Except, today it didn't hurt so bad so he'd taken to opportunity to enjoy the snow. It was nice to be outside, by himself and not have to worry about what was going around him, be it at the Compound or at home. He was looking down at his feet, kicking the snow around them, so he didn't notice he was coming up on his roommate, who he hadn't spoken to for months. It was difficult and hard...but it's what was. It was when Clark spoke that Xander looked up like a deer in the headlights and wondered if he could turn around before Clark saw him.
Clark hadn't been paying much attention to what was going around him, lost in his thoughts, until he heard the sound of feet stomping through snow. He hesitated for a moment before turning and seeing Xander. He glanced back at the mount before him, then at Xander again. "I'm trying to decide what to use for the face." He paused. "When there is a face." He tilted his head. "Right now it's sort of just..." What? "Well, I guess it's a butt." He cleared his throat, shifting so that he was facing both the bottom of the snowman and Xander.
Xander just kind of stared at Clark, almost like he'd forgotten what it was like for the other boy to talk to him. Despite himself, he took a small step forward.
"What?" He asked, almost not believing what he was seeing. Clark, building a snow man and talking to him.
"What should I use to make the face?" He coughed into his mitten-ed hands. "I don't think we have coal." They might have a carrot. Or a banana for the nose. His voice was light, of course. Careful. His eyes went back down to the mound of snow.
"I...uh..." Xander's brain was having trouble processing. He looked around for something to answer Clark with. "Seashells?" He offered weakly, not coming any closes, afraid too despite the fact they usually lived in closer quarters
"Sea shells could work," Clark said after a moment, "maybe a banana nose? Stick with the tropical theme." He wasn't sure where to go from there. "If I thought a Hawaiian shirt would work, and if we had some, I'd suggest putting it on for the body." But it wouldn't work. Too heavy for twiggy branches.
"Clark." Xander finally said, more assured of himself. "What are you doing?" He shrugged. "Not the snowman."
Clark shrugged. "I don't know," he said with a sigh, slipping his hand in his pockets. "I dunno," he said softly, looking away.
Sighing, Xander rubbed his hands together to give him something to do. "We don't talk for months, now your asking me about a snowman. I'm a bit curious."
"I guess," he began with a sigh, "I realized how stupid I really am." His eyes narrowed a bit. "And how I'm generally stupid about a lot of things." He rubbed his eye and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry," he said softly, "for being a really crappy friend."
Oh this, Xander wasn't sure he could take. "It's okay..." He said softly. "I mean..." He winced. "I kissed you. I can't expect you to take that well." He laughed softly, almost sadly. "I guess it didn't expect it to take months for you to forgive me or tell me you want to leave."
"I wasn't mad at you," he said softly. "I felt bad that..." He sighed. "That I made things so complicated." Clark shrugged, gathering some snow because it was always easier for him to do something than stand there and talk about his emotions. "I thought maybe if I pulled away for a little while, you could work things out and fix stuff." He softly chuckled. "Then it just sort of went on for too long and I didn't know how to fix it." He shook his head. "Genius, huh?"
Xander could help a small laugh. He knew exactly how that felt. "Yeah. I know the feeling." Then he sighed again, running a hand through his hair, though he winced afterwards since he accidentally used his healing hand. "I don't think there was anything to fix." He said softly and honestly. "It was just...all bad."
"I'm sorry," he said. This time he was referring to the relationship, not just to his mistake. "About everything." He stood up a little straighter, slipped his hands in his pockets, and looked at his friend, finally.
"Would have happened sooner or later." Xander said with a sigh, because it was an unfortunate thing he still believed. "I'm sorry you were involved at all."
Clark wasn't sure what to say, so he just shrugged and said, "It's okay. Stuff happens." He readjusted the beanie on his head and wondered, for half a second, about getting a haircut. He hadn't had one in... Well, ever.
It still didn't feel okay, but it was a start. It was nice to have Clark talking to him again. "So...friends still right?"
"Friends," he replied with a soft smile.
Xander held back his grin to a mild beam, vice full on high beams. After loosing so many friends, it was nice to know he hadn't screwed up this one at least. "I don't know what Giles is going to do now that we're talking again. I think he likes the quiet."
"I'm sure he'll get used to the noise," h e replied with a chuckle. "Besides, I doubt we'd be that loud." Clark was generally a quiet kind of guy. Xander was probably much louder than he was.
"Giles used to be a librarian. That should tell you right there." Xander said with a small laugh as he finally closed the distance between them.
"Come on," he said. "Let's go inside." He smiled softly. "The snowman can get finished tomorrow. He's not gonna mind." Then he nudged the mound with his foot just a bit.
Xander just laughed and rubbed his hands together. "I doubt it. Unless this place turns tropical again in which Mr. Snowman," he turned to the pile of snow and gave him a small salute. "it was nice knowing you."
Clark was attempting to do a snow man. He was bored. He was tired. He was bored of reading. And he was tired of quietly living in a house trying to avoid someone who was his friend because he didn't want to complicate his life further. Something he realized wasn't working, but didn't know how to fix. Standing in the snow, bundled up, packing a big ball of snow on the ground and smoothing out some of it so that he could lay a second ball (which he'd need to make) on top of it. He sighed. Thought of Xander. Frowned and shook his head. "What are you doing," he asked himself aloud.
Xander was just wandering today. With the snow, the building crew was pretty much at a stand still and considering his hand was still healing, it ached in the cold. Except, today it didn't hurt so bad so he'd taken to opportunity to enjoy the snow. It was nice to be outside, by himself and not have to worry about what was going around him, be it at the Compound or at home. He was looking down at his feet, kicking the snow around them, so he didn't notice he was coming up on his roommate, who he hadn't spoken to for months. It was difficult and hard...but it's what was. It was when Clark spoke that Xander looked up like a deer in the headlights and wondered if he could turn around before Clark saw him.
Clark hadn't been paying much attention to what was going around him, lost in his thoughts, until he heard the sound of feet stomping through snow. He hesitated for a moment before turning and seeing Xander. He glanced back at the mount before him, then at Xander again. "I'm trying to decide what to use for the face." He paused. "When there is a face." He tilted his head. "Right now it's sort of just..." What? "Well, I guess it's a butt." He cleared his throat, shifting so that he was facing both the bottom of the snowman and Xander.
Xander just kind of stared at Clark, almost like he'd forgotten what it was like for the other boy to talk to him. Despite himself, he took a small step forward.
"What?" He asked, almost not believing what he was seeing. Clark, building a snow man and talking to him.
"What should I use to make the face?" He coughed into his mitten-ed hands. "I don't think we have coal." They might have a carrot. Or a banana for the nose. His voice was light, of course. Careful. His eyes went back down to the mound of snow.
"I...uh..." Xander's brain was having trouble processing. He looked around for something to answer Clark with. "Seashells?" He offered weakly, not coming any closes, afraid too despite the fact they usually lived in closer quarters
"Sea shells could work," Clark said after a moment, "maybe a banana nose? Stick with the tropical theme." He wasn't sure where to go from there. "If I thought a Hawaiian shirt would work, and if we had some, I'd suggest putting it on for the body." But it wouldn't work. Too heavy for twiggy branches.
"Clark." Xander finally said, more assured of himself. "What are you doing?" He shrugged. "Not the snowman."
Clark shrugged. "I don't know," he said with a sigh, slipping his hand in his pockets. "I dunno," he said softly, looking away.
Sighing, Xander rubbed his hands together to give him something to do. "We don't talk for months, now your asking me about a snowman. I'm a bit curious."
"I guess," he began with a sigh, "I realized how stupid I really am." His eyes narrowed a bit. "And how I'm generally stupid about a lot of things." He rubbed his eye and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry," he said softly, "for being a really crappy friend."
Oh this, Xander wasn't sure he could take. "It's okay..." He said softly. "I mean..." He winced. "I kissed you. I can't expect you to take that well." He laughed softly, almost sadly. "I guess it didn't expect it to take months for you to forgive me or tell me you want to leave."
"I wasn't mad at you," he said softly. "I felt bad that..." He sighed. "That I made things so complicated." Clark shrugged, gathering some snow because it was always easier for him to do something than stand there and talk about his emotions. "I thought maybe if I pulled away for a little while, you could work things out and fix stuff." He softly chuckled. "Then it just sort of went on for too long and I didn't know how to fix it." He shook his head. "Genius, huh?"
Xander could help a small laugh. He knew exactly how that felt. "Yeah. I know the feeling." Then he sighed again, running a hand through his hair, though he winced afterwards since he accidentally used his healing hand. "I don't think there was anything to fix." He said softly and honestly. "It was just...all bad."
"I'm sorry," he said. This time he was referring to the relationship, not just to his mistake. "About everything." He stood up a little straighter, slipped his hands in his pockets, and looked at his friend, finally.
"Would have happened sooner or later." Xander said with a sigh, because it was an unfortunate thing he still believed. "I'm sorry you were involved at all."
Clark wasn't sure what to say, so he just shrugged and said, "It's okay. Stuff happens." He readjusted the beanie on his head and wondered, for half a second, about getting a haircut. He hadn't had one in... Well, ever.
It still didn't feel okay, but it was a start. It was nice to have Clark talking to him again. "So...friends still right?"
"Friends," he replied with a soft smile.
Xander held back his grin to a mild beam, vice full on high beams. After loosing so many friends, it was nice to know he hadn't screwed up this one at least. "I don't know what Giles is going to do now that we're talking again. I think he likes the quiet."
"I'm sure he'll get used to the noise," h e replied with a chuckle. "Besides, I doubt we'd be that loud." Clark was generally a quiet kind of guy. Xander was probably much louder than he was.
"Giles used to be a librarian. That should tell you right there." Xander said with a small laugh as he finally closed the distance between them.
"Come on," he said. "Let's go inside." He smiled softly. "The snowman can get finished tomorrow. He's not gonna mind." Then he nudged the mound with his foot just a bit.
Xander just laughed and rubbed his hands together. "I doubt it. Unless this place turns tropical again in which Mr. Snowman," he turned to the pile of snow and gave him a small salute. "it was nice knowing you."
