Lifting his head again, Xander glanced over at Spike, gathering his courage. He guessed it wouldn't hurt to tell someone, and he actually trusted the former vampire...something that still amazed him sometimes. He swallowed briefly, then spoke softly, looking down at the sand past Spike's boot the entire time.

"I'm good at stripping. The fact I'm good at stripping scares me enough to make me sick since I'm usually so uncoordinated and I'm not that much to look at. And I know Helen would be okay if I said I didn't want to do it...but I can't. I don't want to give up on one of the things I'm actually naturally good at, because I have to so few. What if this is all I have? Something I'm ashamed of?" He realized how pathetic it sounded, he did, but he couldn't care. It was how he felt and well...he was used to feeling pathetic.